Why Women Need Celebration More Than Self-Improvement

Photography by Ericka Sánchez

For as long as I can remember, womanhood has been a list of assignments.

Lose weight. Gain weight. Be softer. Don't cry. Cry more. Be stronger. Be ambitious... but not too ambitious. Don't intimidate. Stand up for yourself. Heal your trauma. Fix your habits. Improve your mindset. Be more positive. Be more aggressive. Learn the lesson. Become the best version of yourself.

The language changes with every generation, but the message remains remarkably consistent: there is always another version of yourself waiting to be achieved. And even as I write this, I think about the fact that within spiritual communities, the same pressure persists. The toxic positivity of staying positive in order to change. The rush to heal our wounds, balance our chakras, release our shadows, manifest our desires, and keep evolving.

Keep evolving.

Keep evolving.

While growth is an absolutely beautiful thing and is often necessary, it can become another form of striving that is just as toxic as the negativity or stagnation we are leaving behind. It can become another way for us to see ourselves as not enough. This is one of the reasons June is such an important month.

It is refreshing.

Because it reminds us that we are enough - in this time, in this moment, in this now - with simply a flower upon our heads and our faces turned toward the sun.

Historically, the days leading to the Summer Solstice were not dedicated to self-improvement. They were dedicated to celebration.

Across Europe, communities gathered beneath the lengthening daylight to dance, feast, weave flower crowns, sing, and honor the abundance of the season. Bonfires illuminated hillsides. Young women braided flowers and herbs into wreaths. Families remained outdoors long into the evening as the sun lingered on the horizon.

In our celebration, therein lies transformation.

In our celebration, therein lies recognition.

We look to the earth and see what is already happening. We recognize the Mother loving us back. The crops are growing. The flowers are blooming. The earth is alive. For one brief moment each year, people pause to acknowledge what already exists rather than obsess over what still needs to be changed.

In this era, we are masters of flaw recognition. We all know what we need to work on. We all know our insecurities and unfinished projects. We all know our emotional wounds and our goals for the next month and the next year. Hell, the next ten years. But can we say what we are proud of? We look to the birds and marvel at their wings and colorful plumage. Yet how often do we marvel at our own eyes or the sheen of our own hair? We look to the grass and see the green and are reminded of childhood, of rolling down hills without a care in the world. Yet do we marvel at the feet that have carried us through years and years of life without immediately pointing out that our manicure is two weeks overdue?

In June, I call upon women to be proud of themselves without hesitation. Do not celebrate your milestones with reluctance. Do not diminish your accomplishments. Remember, we are the light bearers. We are the life bearers, whether we choose to give life or not. We are the portals through which humanity itself enters this world. That is not a compliment. It is a truth that cannot so easily be brushed aside.

And while a billion-dollar industry exists to convince us that fulfillment lies just beyond the next purchase, the next certification, the next breakthrough, or the next transformational retreat, there is always the wind willing to acknowledge your beauty for free as it brushes your cheek with a summer kiss.

There is always another mountain. But there is rarely a moment to stand at the summit. The Summer Solstice offers an alternative philosophy. It offers self-love and recognition in the present moment. Nature never apologizes for its strength, its abundance, or its lack thereof. Does the sunflower question whether it deserves to turn its face toward the light? Does the oak tree spend its days wishing it were taller?

It simply is.

Perhaps this is why so many women feel drawn to flower crowns, garden gatherings, outdoor dinners, and seasonal rituals during this time of year. Beneath the aesthetics lies something deeper: the remembrance of a tradition and an ancient truth.

Celebration is not a reward for perfection. It is a practice of recognition. Celebration reminds us that though we may not have all the achievements we desire, we are still here. We are still living. We are still becoming.

There will always be time for improvement.

But June reminds us that there must also be time for celebration.

And perhaps the most important thing a woman can celebrate is not who she hopes to become, but who she already is.